Thanks for quick reply DnJ. We all had a lovely holiday. My son brought his friend & we really did have a great time. I hired a car and drove on the opposite side to UK & I felt confident doing this. We ate out every night & had a few cocktails. The boys even persuaded me to do shots! I'm very blessed, my son is only 19 but stepped up to the man of the holiday in many respects. I'm very proud of both my children.
H absolutely doesn't want a divorce & I am in no rush. I haven't received the papers yet so it is possible that it's more lies but I'm not sure of the function of that? It's not worth my brain space!
My line with reconciliation is that he would have to show significant change in terms of his dependency. He is showing no sign of this at present, which I find really unattractive. I do still love him and care about his wellbeing but not to the extent that I would put myself in the position of re-experiencing this all again with another woman! As far as I can see, he's all talk at present. He's got a bit more understanding about himself from his therapy but there is absolutely no sign of behaviour change.
Your questions are interesting, particularly about forgiveness. I believe I could forgive the affair. However, I'm not sure about forgiving his behaviour in relation to D. I've read all about MLC and understand that he's almost regressed and has a teenage mindset but some of the things he did were just cruel and hurt her so badly. I just don't feel I can answer that at present. It might be tough to answer because he's still mid crisis & thus I'm still not fully seeing H without his craziness.
I am still focused on me as a priority. I'm still doing lots of GAL both independently & with the kids. I've got lots of lovely events coming up including live music gigs, a weekend away reuniting with friends of 30 years, comedy night and the dreaded panto!
Thanks again for your support, you always bring a compassionate view, which I appreciate.
