Grief is mostly self regulating. One’s subconscious is always processing their grief in the background. One does employ techniques to influence that process and also regain control of their conscious self, thoughts, and actions.
Any activity can be detrimental, however by and large we, as I said, self regulate. The key is moderation. Not dwelling too much, not ignoring too much, not pushing off our feelings too much. Most folks find their balance. There are necessary and healthy backslides along with the slow forward progress of more and more living as one grieves into acceptance.
Problems arise when one overdoes an action and slows or stunts their recovery. One could push themselves back into denial. The path is like you wisely said - balancing your time. Self reflection, feeling your emotions, getting out of bed, going to work, and such. Finding your balance and allowing each to speak and be heard, yet not “long term” take over your life.
For sure, there will be spans of almost singular focus. For example, depression. That particular stage can feel rather overwhelming. Anger is another focused stage, however we can more influence and sweat it out. Depression is an expression of anger turned inward, and very much more. The sweat it out technique does work with depression as well.
Interestingly, depression, well more accurately the grief process in this case, is us realigning and rebalancing our id, superego, and ego. Id, our primal and instinctive self, totally subconscious. Superego, our mortal conscience, and the do what is right part of ourselves. Ego, us, as we continually work to balance the desires of our Id and Superego.
And yes, some of those listed activities can disrupt one’s efforts much easier than other ones. All affect one’s brain chemistry, a chemistry thrown out of whack with our relationship strife. One’s recovery is regaining that healthy chemistry and balance. I agree that unprescribed mind altering drugs and/or alcohol should be avoid. Prescribed antidepressants can provide help if one needs it. Exercise, time with family, time alone, etc. Not everything work for everyone. Each person finds their path and their needs and balance. We all are missing something, some piece, searching in this process of grief.
One’s answers do come when one is calm.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
