This week's HW was Ch. 8 of the Grief Recovery Handbook (James & Friedman). It's a very short chapter that visits the idea of Short Term Energy Relieving Behaviors (STERBs). These are the activities that can be used to run from or bury the painful emotions. Some of them aren't always bad, but all of them can be over used and can stunt the recovery process. They include:
* Food * Excessive exercise * Drugs/alcohol * Gambling * Sex * Over sleeping * Shopping * Keeping busy * Isolation * Always with friends/family * Internet scrolling / screen time
I am definitely susceptible to at least 1/2 of these. The question I'll have for the instructor is how to know where the line is with some of the "healthy" ones like exercise, a wardrobe update, visiting with friends. I already have some ideas around it, as I have experienced some of it. I had 4 days where I hung out with a different friend group each day. When not with friends, I was either busy doing something productive, or scrolling on my phone. My intuition is that while some of these should be avoided completely during grief (alcohol, drugs, gambling), the others should at least be balanced with time of self reflection, not trying to hide from the emotions. But I'm only 1/2 way through this class. I don't have to pass the final exam just yet
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
