Way Less Lost!! Pt 4

[Pattnee5]

Thanks L4H I know all too well he is running because to deal with his issues and takes an enormous amount of work and that’s all in the “too hard basket”. It’s just sad to see someone who would have faced this in the past, have the mental capacity of a gnat( as DnJ always says) and think that running is so logical and the way to fix it. The worst part is how he keeps justifying it to himself and thinks the kids will be fine etc without him and how he promises to Skype them everyday. As if that is going to happen and be the same. I really do wonder who kicked the switch off in their logical brain to make them like this. Is it male hormones is it something in the water, it seems everyone around me right now at the same age 48-50 is just up and leaving their spouses and running for the hills.

My mother ripped into him yesterday about the whole situation and was so angry with him. I didn’t say a word ( it’s her right to, as she now has to step in and help a lot more with the kids )
He just sat there and kept justifying “great professional opportunity” and “so much money for the future” blah blah. Then when he felt attacked would throw blame on me over and over. I realised sitting there just not retaliating that I almost felt like I had a massive armour up and I almost don’t even hear the words of verbal bashing anymore. Or even care. In the past I would have retaliated back and defended myself so much. Maybe it’s a 180 maybe I don’t want to waste my energy and time I don’t know. He still tries to talk to me all friendly and “vent “ about work, running around like a madman now doing lots of errands for the house and the kids and me. Maybe it’s guilt setting in maybe it’s not I don’t know. I just listen and don’t really say much I feel kind of “whatever” him now. He’s in for a rude shock when he’s on his own overseas and doesn’t have that person to banter with and chat too about random daily things. I couldn’t think of anything more lonely in the world.

Anyway just my rambling.
Card Thankyou. I do hope I look back at this as my finest hour who knows. The personal growth in me is enormous. If I compare myself to 6-9 months ago I couldn’t even tell you what a difference it is. Even just becoming a more in tune person within myself. He really is walking out on something truly amazing.

It’s my 42 bday in two weeks. I am going to gather a tonne of friends and go out for a fun night.
I’m also getting my tattoo around the x I already had a few others from many years ago but this one is going to be for me and the kids and our new beginning
Every day really does get better