Bike

[Rockon]

W has been calling and I have not been answering (busy and no specific reason to talk) When I picked up S from her mom’s house, she wanted to talk about our financial arrangement. I didn’t have my budget in front of me at the time, but I asked what she was wondering.

We ended up having a 5 minute talk about it (not in front of S). I explained I’m hopeful that I will be able to gradually return to work soon and that my priority is to take care of S and keep our home and take care of it. W said that she sees our home like a rental property and that if I can’t pay to live there I should find another place to live. She said she doesn’t live there and she never will. She said she thinks we should sell it. She told me that she doesn’t have any extra money and no health benefits left. She told me that she has lots of counseling coming up to pay for. I actively listened. I reflected back what I heard, validated the emotions he showed and told her I will consider what she has said. I excused myself saying I needed to go.

I have calculated what the biweekly expenses are for the matrimonial home (mortgage, insurance, taxes and utilities) which W and I jointly own and where I live with dependent S. I plan to let W know that at this time (while I have no income) I propose that we each contribute 50:50 to those above mentioned expenses. I have subtracted the rental income (there is a suite) equally from what we both need to contribute. Also I plan to ask W for child support.

Individual living expenses, and discretionary spending, savings, investments would be separate.

Here is my email draft:

I propose:

-Home expenses = calculations of above
-My portion = half of above - half rental income (I will pay this however I can including using my savings and any income I get - eg I have been doing some work for friends, y parents and neighbors and have contributed that)
-Your portion = same
-Your child support contribution = amount L advised me based on W’s income (I won’t mention where I got this number in email)
-Shared emergency fund can be tapped into (for necessary living expenses including healthcare that you mentioned) in this interim while I am progressing with my RTW process.

I welcome and value your input (I actually meant the input from this DB community but I could include it in the email).