MLC monster has caught up with me again..

[Pattnee5]

I’m In full agreeance about the alcohol mixed with depression( especially when MLC usually have depression whether it be diagnosed or undiagnosed). My H too used to drink before I met him, beer. And yes loved the taste he would say, and always say. Would never ever in the 20 years react the way he does now. The MLC monster comes out with the drinking, the anger, the pent up resentment and frustration, the verbal abuse and saying the most horrible things he would never have said in the past even after a drink. I find now, it hits him harder, as in he gets slurrier and silly and lacks that control to pace himself. I can always see it in his eyes his mannerisms now. He hardly ever remembers what he says when he’s had a lot but always knows it’s bad. He always senses he’s said or done something bad. The shame must eat them up. He is always so ashamed but has buried that too. The single best thing they could ever do is to stop drinking but they won’t it’s their crutch as they navigate this. My H went to one AA meeting and said it was amazing and wonderful and wants to go again etc. never did. The shame of saying he even went to Aa was enough he didn’t want anyone to find out ever. He drinks vodka now too( he’s smart he does it because he thinks he doesn’t smell like he’s been drinking but I can pinpoint it a mile away just from his mannerisms) plus I have found it stashed in water bottles. I don’t care anymore it’s not my problem because he’s not doing it around me or the kids. I am no longer his drunk punching bag and that’s the best thing. I do miss the happy go lucky social drinker he used to be. He was far more fun to be around compared to the angry depressed one now. It really consumes them and is their coping mechanism.
They get that itch anytime they have a bad day, or a fleeting emotion that they have to deal with.

I’m sorry you’re in a situation where you can’t leave or kick him out. I think you need to lift those boundaries about him being around you when drinking. He needs to do it on his own away from everyone