She also just mentioned that she was taking the vacuum cleaner, which was not what we agreed on. "It's ridiculous that you get it while you also get x y z". I said "that's what we agreed on". "Well there was a lot going on in my head when we did the walk through."
Remain silent. Letting her hear crickets would be best.
You and her did a walk through and both agreed. Hold her accountable. Give an inch and they’ll take a mile.
Two weeks ago:
Originally Posted by Card29
We agreed yesterday what to split (furniture, etc) and she agreed to put it in writing and for both of us to sign before she takes anything.
And now, W is not wanting to honour her signed agreement. Tough, hold her to it.
A week or so earlier then the walk through and she was all up in arms about S1’s furniture.
Originally Posted by Card29
W texted and is assuming she will get all of S1’s furniture because “her parents bought it”. I responded “it’s your choice to do all of this. It’s unfair to stick me with hundreds of furniture purchases”
I offered a compromise, she said “no my parents bought that”
Baby furniture, vacuum, how many other “inches” will she decide she is entitled to.
Originally Posted by Card29
I wanted to say "tough ****", but I said "I know you need a vacuum. Can you find one on FB marketplace?"
Imagine what your response would be to going to pick up your car after getting new tires installed and the guy says there was a lot going through his head so he increased the quoted price by $400.
Card, this is the business side of the situation. Do not let your emotions cloud your rational judgements. You have some “maybe” agreed upon things, and some much up in the air things. Custody being the big one, in my opinion. Then daycare and other expenses.
Originally Posted by Card29
Suddenly a flood of texts with W this morning. She is finally getting S1 for a significant amount of time, 1 month after BD. She'll pick him up from daycare today and have him most of the week. We started talking about the S1 schedule, and she threw out dates through November. She was asking him for all of Thanksgiving week (also his bday week), so I pushed back on that. She will likely go back to her hometown (5 hours away) whenever she has him around the holidays, so I don't want him to be gone the entire week plus his birthday. She seems ok to negotiate that week.
Just months ago, W was off vacationing for five weeks. No kids or responsibilities. And now, a big push… for some reason…
In my locale, kids cannot be taken out of the local area, unless the other parent agrees. This also means that both parents need to live in the local area, or the moving one needs to give up custody rights.
Be careful allowing and agreeing to these negotiations before getting an actual signed separation agreement. Setting a precedent can and will be used against (and sometimes for) you. In this case, W’s hometown is five hours away. If she were to move there, and negations between you two turned sour, where do think S1’s court ordered home base would be?
Inches can quickly become miles.
You know your situation best. If you need protection and/or security, get it. And get it in writing, with a lawyer. W’s has illustrated how dear she holds her own signature and obligations.
Be businesslike when dealing with the business of all this.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
