I'm sorry to read that the martial uneasiness has resurfaced again after these past few years. By the sounds of things you are versed in DB and experienced some very good results already. I will paste Cadet's welcome post below for your reference. There is plenty of useful information within those links. A really good starting point and/or place to polish one's skill set.
I am curious of your ages and length of marriage. If you wish to provide such details.
In-laws, MIL and/or FIL, can be quite a source of stress and conflict. And a couple's financial arrangement and handling is a pretty common source as well. Sounds like you have ample of both currently going on. Over the years resentments can grow and fester. Mix in the typical teenager behaviors into the household and one's coping skills will get tested.
W is likely pretty accurate that she needs to get back to herself. Unfortunately she figures a divorce is the needed path. And as you have seen, she is pushing back on conversations and advice that runs counter to that. Even counsellor number two firing you guys; she is correct until W will look inward and is willing to work on herself, couples therapy is unlikely to yield much in positive changes.
It really does help to post and get one's thoughts down on paper and out of their head. Keep moving forward, and following those DB principles and techniques. Focus upon yourself and daughter. Live and love your life.
I look forward to conversing with you. And yes, this place is a wonderful community.
DnJ
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Welcome to the board.
Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.
The first thing you should do is be sure to read the Divorce Remedy (DR) book by Michele Weiner-Davis. The following link is the first chapter:
Once your registration to the site has been completed you can post and start a thread. Please have only one thread active at a time (per forum); it keeps your situation organized and is easier for those following along and posting to you. There are a few forums which help categorize posters’ situations.
When your thread reaches 100 posts, it will be time for you to start a new thread. It is a good idea to link your old thread to your new one, and even link the new one back to the previous one. That makes it easier for the folks following your story. (There is a help thread on linking in the sticky threads at the top section of the forum’s display.) A moderator will “close” your full thread which prevents further posting to it. It is still available to read.
Post in small frequent replies on your thread. Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity can be very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down.
Post on other people’s thread to give support.
Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL).
DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
