Way Less Lost!! Pt 4

[Pattnee5]

My anger is pretty well controlled I am more just curious more within myself why I can’t bring myself to unleash a mountain of abuse at him and rebut his attacks and blames at me. I more just let it slide more like water off a ducks back. I know there’s no truth to those words. I wish I could get angry and just hurtle abuse. I feel like I just roll over and take it.
Yep I have been seeing an IC and am at a really good place now. I’m excited for a new beginning in my life where my sole focus is me and the kids. I’m keen for him to finally go overseas to be honest. So I don’t need to see him or deal with him and hopefully he can start to feel some of the pain he’s unleashed on me and hit his rock bottom.
Isn’t it bad I now wish he feels pain and hurt and loneliness. I think I have a new reality to face now which is that feeling of abandonment and that I wasn’t enough to fight for. Might take me a really long time to heal properly but I’m excited to move out of this current state.I’m still gobsmacked at the running away. And what can possibly go through their entitled brains to think that is the only way.