I didn't read all of your thread. My only advise right now is to only have conversations when he is sober. Do not interact when he has been drinking. Leave the house if he becomes drunk and irational.

HUGS

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712