The grief recovery class is on Thursdays, but I can't attend tomorrow. Instead, I'm meeting with the instructor 1-on-1 later today. This week's reading assignment finished the myths/misunderstandings section on grief and began the recovery section. The first recovery chapter talked about "more, different, better". From your loss, what do you wish you had more of, what do you wish had been different, what do you wish could have been better? If it was a death of a parent, maybe you want one more Christmas, or maybe there was some unresolved issues that you wish you could have fixed.
For me, there is a lot in this section and I think I've only scratched the surface. I wish I had a lifetime of the feelings I had the first 6 years with W. We were so excited to see each other every day. The last year was a really terrible feeling watching her pull away. I wish we could have started counseling long before the issues started to arise. I wish she could have stayed and been happy until after S1 is out of daycare and our financial situation greatly improves. We had always talked about traveling the world together and that was doable in our future. I also wish she had remained the incredible step mom to D11 that she was up until last August. For years I could not believe how lucky I was to find someone that just stepped in and loved my daughter like that. That was one of my biggest fears after D#1.
That is just a short list of some of the unresolved issues I have with our M that I will need to work through.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
