Hi Pattnee, sounds like you're doing a great job and handled that as well as you could. My comment is on the sudden change early hours of the morning. What I'm finding is that each new little change that happens (with my H, it's now all crazy trying to get back with me), I have an initial response, this time it was guilt because I knew he was hurting and starting to feel some of his losses & Ive always been the fixer! However, as many say on here doing nothing is doing something & allowing time to stand back and think how I want to proceed that benefits ME, is a big thing. I do still get caught up in wanting to fix him, nurture him & care for him but I have to remind myself that HE needs to take responsibility for this. I am worth so much more than the scraps of him. I don't know if he will ever be able to do the work he needs to on him. I do know though that I have worked on me & don't need someone to suck my newfound passion for life out of me. From what I read, you're doing a great job in this. I just wanted to normalise the changing emotions each time something new comes up. Our responses get less but the tears fo still come & so they should after so long together.
I think your kids are probably younger than mine but they will adjust given the right support from you. It's equally damaging for them to observe his crazy behaviour and disrespect for you as to have a period of transition where you form different family units. There's lots of research that supports well balanced kids growing up to adjusted adults as long as they have one stable loving figure in their life so make sure that's you in his craziness. It's a big challenge being mum & dad (my H doesn't really see either if mine at the minute) but it comes with ots rewards and as long as you make sure to have you time, it's manageable.
Keep going, keep doing everything you are doing & continue to work on and create the life you want for you with nothing or no one holding you back. Sending hugs, you did good.
