A new issue for me

[tadpole1025]

Thanks Job and bttrfly.

Regarding the Meetup emails: haven't seen anything that I'd be interested in yet, but we'll see.

Regarding the Audubon Society: I'm kind of excited for the Open House in September. I'd love to see all that they do. Maybe there will be something that I could get involved in? I just love birds...all animals, but especially birds.

Stay tuned...

Tad

[tadpole1025]

I don't really have much to add.

Just journaling.

Breakfast with son went well.

Only one of my sons may be moving out of state and that may not happen until next Summer if at all. He says it is not a sure thing.

I think a lot of what I've been feeling lately is on me. I assumed that we would all stay here. I don't know why I assumed it. I just did.

Lately, I've been listening to some of the music that I used to play on the radio. I couldn't listen to it for the longest time, but I've noticed lately that I may miss some of it. I miss the country music from the late 1990's and early 2000's. That's when my career was at its peak. I miss the music, but not being on the radio.

Anyways, that's it for now.

Tad

[DnJ]

Hello tad

Oh hear you, I couldn’t stand to listen to music or watch movies for a long while. Nowadays I once again enjoy movies and rock out, sing, and play all kinds of music. And yes, some of it can, and does, pull the old heartstrings. It’s good, it’s part of finding peace with things.

D

[tadpole1025]

Yeah. It's been a super slow process. So many memories are wrapped around music. I have the country music that reminds me of happier times when my marriage and career were awesome. Then I have music from the 80's: KISS, Lionel Richie, Madonna, Bon Jovi, Prince, numerous hair bands that remind me of when I met XW. But, I'm getting there.

Tad

[sjohns6]

Tad,

Hello! I know we haven't really chatted, but I remember your sitch from before! It's nice to read updates from you! I can absolutely relate to a lot of what you've been dealing with lately. Not the same exact things, but little things that feel like holdovers from the trauma of the split.

For you, music has been hard to revisit. That makes a lot of sense being that music is an artform for the expression of the soul. It's hard not to be affected in some way listening to another person's soul expression. My musical taste changed over the last few years. I have reached a point to where there are a few genres that I listened to right after BD that I can barely stand to hear now. For me it is audiobooks that I've struggled with. Before all of the MLC madness I would listen to 3 or 4 audiobooks a month. I loved it. In the car, doing yardwork, riding my bike, doing chores...I always had a book on. Once MLC was in full swing, I could not listen to books anymore. I tried, but I just couldn't. For me it was my wandering mind. I could not focus on listening to a book. I would put it on and then my thoughts would turn back to figuring everything out. I would hear none of the book at all. If I am to be honest, I have still had difficulty getting back to that. It's on my list of things to work on.

Congrats to you on joining the autobahn society! I like birds too! I am not a bird watcher, per se...but I do like them. My house is surrounded my many trees. The last couple of years I have had a family of blue herons nest in them. It is such a neat thing to see. They are like little feathered dinosaurs! They have begun to get comfortable being around me. I have seen videos on social media of animals responding very positively to music, so I have begun singing to them when we are around. The first time I did it, the heron turned his head sideways and looked at me quizzically. It was a fun experience!

Have you ever gone kayaking? I have a couple of them and love taking them out. It uses more upper body so I thought maybe since it wasn't leg and back intensive that maybe it would be something you enjoy? There is a nature center near me that I like to take them too. I've seen lots of wildlife while out and it is always an amazing experience.

I hope you are doing well today. I'm sorry to hear you've had some fear around the what-if's lately, but it sounds like you are getting off to a great start from the excellent advice that everyone has given! You've got this!!

[tadpole1025]

Thanks sjohns6.

Nice to see you remembered my sitch from before. I used to post here a lot. I was one of the ones that became stuck and had a hard time moving on. For the most part, I have finally moved on, but still have some issues to deal with. To be honest, I'm a little upset with myself for letting her affect me the way that she has. I'm upset that I was stuck as long as I was.

I understand about the audio books. As you've read, it is music for me. Pretty much the same thing. It's funny how the littlest things can become the BIGGEST obstacles.

Birds are wonderful. Yes, tiny dinosaurs. I absolutely love Bald Eagles and watch two nest cams during nesting season. I also live about three miles from a Bald Eagle nest that is located here in the city. I don't get to see them very often because although I love them, I don't want to draw too much attention to them for their safety.

I haven't thought much about kayaking or anything similar. I have a very bad shoulder that I injured when I was about 20 years old. I've got a screw in it with limited mobility. So, that's probably out.

Time to go spend time with my kitty cats!

Thanks for the response!

Tad

[tadpole1025]

I had to work today and didn't get to go to the event at the Audubon Society. I'm bummed.

Maybe there will be another one.

[DnJ]

Darn work.

Definitely look to the next event. Hopefully it’s not too far off.

[tadpole1025]

Yeah. I think I'm going to take some time in October. I really need a break. I'm thinking about taking a week off and just getting out and doing some things. We'll see.

Tad