XH is having OW2 and their child staying over for ten days. My goodness that will be a surprise for those who don’t know.
I agree, the wee baby and XH’s responsibilities are both a draw and pressure to him. Reconciling his duties, being in people’s/kid’s lives, is going to be something he will have to figure out.
His awareness and regret of his poisonous behaviour, and yet his unwillingness and/or inability to alter his course, highlights his still inner turmoil. Much like the start of the crisis, when it (replay) starts winding down it has the MLCer living in two worlds again. He has to figure himself out. And depression is still ever present.
Absolutely, remain out of the middle of all this.
With one son an adult, and the other two 16 years old - hey are they driving yet? Gosh, practicing driving with two boys at the same time. Busy times for you. And stressful too. I remember all those many hours of teaching, and stress, and struggle. And looking back, I love every minute of it!
Anyhow, with older kids this is very apt:
You job is not to facilitate the relationship between them and Dad, your job is to not destroy it.
Strangely, I found that is, at times, and especially as they get older, achieved by not so much protecting them, rather installing how to be protective of oneself. Seeing reality. Setting healthily boundaries. Ensuring your own self worth. And knowing that people will treat you as you let them.
I know you are an excellent living example for the boys. So this is more just encouragement for you to know you are doing fine.
Have a great day.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
And looking back, I love every minute of it!
