Thanks for the support. I was able to turn the day around.
Okay, so let’s do some basic steps here.
You need to lock this in the memory bank.
1. You had a triggering event with ex wife 2. You initially had some trouble and allowed your emotions to control your behaviour 3. You sought out external support (through the forum) 4. You picked yourself up, and turned your day into a positive one.
Pretty logical sequence, right?
So what you do now, is you keep reaffirming to yourself mentally that: - difficult situation with wife is only short lived and you’ll likely feel better quickly - your happiness is therefore not tied to ex wife behaviour or interactions.
Say wife calls you tomorrow, has a massive meltdown over the phone because you’re an a**hole and she’s having trouble moving and why weren’t you a better husband, look what you’ve done to me!!
You remember what happened above, and so while she’s spewing her anger, you think to yourself “oh here we go again, one of these temporary uncomfortable situations. I remember last time when it actually wasn’t so bad and I ended up having a great day.”
Then you say to her “Wow, sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate. Must be overwhelming.”
Then you say “I’ve got something on shortly, I’d better run. Cya!”
You’ve validated how she feels, but you haven’t ruined your day or mood or engaged in her pity party - nor tried to fix anything for her.
Remember what happened today… it will help you next time.
