New on here, struggling!

[Pattnee5]

I feel your pain because I have been there. My H too took on a higher job promotion became a massive head of a whole region. Doesn’t cope with stress, worked his older role and newer role for months the stress drowned him but he would never speak up just used us as his punching bag.
Then, like you said, pop something clicks and that person you once knew is someone so different who goes out and does all this. My H too also looked at apartment, contemplated moving overseas for 6-12 months and still is( the man who was so once devoted to her kids).
I get what you mean about already being independent I was somewhat like that too I had my own friends and hobbies etc. you can still find you own way. You will be surprised how much you still lose parts of yourself when you are in a long term relationship. This is where you need to 180 but do it for you, not to get him back. At least he’s going to counselling, that’s a start. I don’t have anything magical to say that will make you feel better except that you will one day not feel as horrible as now. It was the worst pain I ever felt I can still remember it. It does get better. Keep working on you, do what you want, what you feel, what you love.