Good for you finding out what’s what regarding the legalities of your belongings. I agree, don’t beg or plead for them back. H knows you are wanting them, being patient and giving this some time may yield H deciding “on his own” to reach out about returning things.
Originally Posted by Samoy
Question: Are you saying he maybe in some stage of reconnecting? Could this be a form of reconnecting?
Withdrawal is a time of deep introspection for the MLCer. This will be the first time, since the start of their crisis, that they will actually come face to face with their trauma(s).
Coming to somewhat terms with their pains, as well as their deeds and running behaviours (well, those which they can recall, for their addled mind will have many holes for a while), they slowly start to exit withdrawal and enter into acceptance. It is here where those few fortunate MLCers truly start to reconnect, working to repair and rebuild those damaged bridges to family, friends, and spouse.
As you said, H pushed hard in contacting you. He professed remorse and sincerity for his behaviours. It does sound like more reconnecting than a touch and go.
Remember, the MLCer is quite fragile during this time. They will be worried and fearful of rejection and judgement. It is most important for the LBS to withhold such judgement, keep their expectations dialled to zero, and be supportive while the MLCer gets comfortable in their new skin.
There will rebellious moments from the MLCer. Like that of a teenager growing up, for it is pretty much what is going on. And like a teenager, allow them their room to grow while placing boundaries upon disrespectful behaviours.
In the later phase of acceptance, the MLCer revisits their entire crisis. It will likely be noticeable as they exhibit strange behaviours and temporary withdrawing. Again we must let them progress at their pace as this is a needed process. It’s the final processing to allow them to truly put their crisis in the past.
Note: During any of these later stages the MLCer could go back to a previous stage. There is a lot of pressures in the world. You can imagine that for one to face their long ago trauma would likely cause some reaction. It’s all part of their journey. We just dig for patience, keep moving forward, and shine the way.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
