You’ve caught H in many lies regarding contacting XW. Some, even mid-text. You could see the screen reflected in his glasses. And H still denied it.
Originally Posted by KangaB
Is this normal, the going back and forth between M and OW?
With H and XW having kids together, some contact is inevitable. However, it seems to be much more than meeting during drop offs. By the way, what is their custody schedule?
H bouncing back and forth between being married to you and being around XW is not a healthy dynamic. And I know you suspect an EA at the very least, maybe even more.
Originally Posted by KangaB
I’m so tired of trying to point out how wrong this contact is. Now that I don’t, it is getting worse, but I don’t want to stop the runaway train of the A so it has a chance to implode.
Pointing out how wrong it is, or trying to get H to change, will just push him further away. Obviously you don’t need to go along with H and XW’s views, you let go.
You didn’t break him, therefore you can’t fix him.
Go gray with H. Implement boundaries on his disrespectful behaviours towards you.
Originally Posted by KangaB
I decided to call XW to somehow connect.
Be careful of XW. I realize you feel you and she connected from your phone call with her. However…
Originally Posted by KangaB
His EW won’t leave him alone and has tried different tactics over the years from yelling and screaming to sending him photos of her and his kids when they were toddlers, to texting both of us in tears that she is all alone to inviting herself to Christmas with IL’s…
You know the history of her behaviours and actions to engage H. I’d proceed cautiously with her.
Focus on you and your life. (Shift the focus off of H, and/or XW). Enjoy actives. Do some forgotten hobbies. GAL. And keep moving forward.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
