This is helpful DnJ, and I have questions. I had a good appointment yesterday at a Family Law access office to educate myself more with my situation and I have an appointment with a lawyer coming up.
So I can explore if I am able to get life insurance for myself tied to the mortgage so that if I die the mortgage is directly paid off. I could then cancel my life insurance with W as a beneficiary or give her the option to take that over and pay for it with her own money, if I’m reading you right.
In your case, I understand you removed W from your life insurance and told her that promptly and you named your children as equal beneficiaries instead. Your will you were not able to alter at first.
Pertaining to my life, I can explore drafting my will to say that my inheritance (half of our shared assets, including pension) will go to my kids (with a trust fund managed for special needs S). I can also draft up a separation agreement and make more concrete and clear the reality of our situation.
In regards to my pension, I am getting legal and financial advice. I am considering moving to another job with a different pension plan, drawing from my existing pension (early retirement) and investing it with financial guidance. I assume that I would need to inform W of such a change.
I want to do this thoughtfully and wisely and not reactively to my emotional state. Also I want to make important decisions for my well being and that of my family and legacy in ways that are fair and legal with respect to W. I don’t want to prematurely push the divorce along and at the same time I need to have some firm clear boundaries in place.
