That’s a good sign. I know, it’s probably hard to believe.
Grief has five stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The first stage is always denial, as one sets aside or denies that which is simply too difficult for the moment. In these situations there is lots of hurt and pain, and one cannot handle everything all at once, so our mind ignores some things until we gain enough emotional bandwidth.
The last stage is of course acceptance, and the middle three need not happen in a linear fashion, and usually don’t. One is in many different stages in their multi-faceted situation / loss. Different events are at different points along our path towards acceptance. In fact, items of one’s situation gain acceptance one by one. Hence, we slowly climb out of our slump one item at a time. (A ways off for you at the moment, just showing you the map is all.)
Your considering of a EA or PA is something you could not do a few days ago. True, it brings about more anxiety and such, yet realize you are better equipped to see and face such things. So, a good positive movement on your part.
And remember, acceptance is emotional understanding. Not intellectually understanding. Intellectually you can realize something yet be emotionally in denial. Grief is an interesting journey.
Hang in there.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
