I just had another convo with FIL. W is not talking to him or any of her siblings. That's because they will not validate what she is doing. Pretty much only talking to her mom and people she's loose friends with that I've never met. Not talking to any of our shared friends.
I know this probably makes you feel better… but seeking out validation from her family is not a good idea. If that becomes your source of grounding and support and validation, if it eventually disappears, you’ll feel all alone.
And be careful. He might be saying the right things atm because he’s in shock and perhaps he thinks he can change her trajectory… but once he figures out he can’t, then your support will disappear pretty quickly. Blood is ALWAYS thicker than water in the end.
You need to draw a line in the sand with the asset shopping. Just email her:
“If you want to claim assets as yours, please list them in email and put a suggested dollar value against them. Then we can either agree and you can have them, or we refer it to lawyers. We need to make sure this is done properly.”
You’re wondering now if she has another man? I’d bet you $50 she does. I’ve seen it a thousand times.
R2C was right, as always. Who cares if she sees you and smells you with new clothes or cologne for only 30 seconds? That’s not how this works. Are you saying if you know you aren’t going to see her for 24 hours then you won’t wear nice clothes and scents? That’s completely the wrong way to do it. You are doing it for you. To heal you. It helps with attraction not because she sees and smells a new you - but because you get your own confidence back, and she sees a strong, confident, outgoing man.
You need to prioritise your own new friends. Hobbies are the best way to meet new people. Gym would be a good place to start.
