I’m back :(

[Card29]

Day 3 of insight timer. Thanks for the recommendation, Pattnee. Free trial ends in 4 days, then it’s a one year buy. Will be thinking about it

Anxiety is a little lower this morning. I went to bed much earlier than I normally do, closer to 9:30. It was easy (or easier) to get up and get the kids moving.

W has of course popped in and out of my head. My thoughts about the whole situation is it probably is rooted in stress and how she deals with it. She handles it just like her mom. All bottled up, trying to work/clean/organize/plan/shop/cook her way out of it. The more stressed she was, the more frantically she ran around the house, only stopping when she had to crash for the night. When it got too much, she would break. Crying, having trouble getting words out. That was how the last year went. As our counselor said, she was trapped in a pressure cooker (partially of her own making). It’s no wonder she stepped away.

She had this tendency before, but it hadnt reached those levels. Remembering when she would be relaxed on the couch, knitting and enjoying a movie seems like forever ago, but it was just back in 2020-21. Just journaling these thoughts as I cant control or help her.

Here’s to a better week. My best friend is in town tonight. We plan to go to the gym together a couple times this week and otherwise hang out a few times.