I’m back :(

[Card29]

DnJ, thank you. Thank you for giving me perspective on the terrible nights. I know it's natural but damn it hurts. Last night was just terrible. I don't know what was worse, the dreams or the physical pain and anxiety when I was awake. I will try to get more exercise going forward. We have the worst weather of the year, it's unbearable outside. Even my garage, which is normally cool, is grossly hot and humid. I have weights in there, but I couldn't stand being in it for more than 10 minutes. Thankfully, fall is just around the corner.

It takes time, and purposeful effort, to traverse this. Use the moments of rational clarity to discover and affix your headings. Write them down if you need. And in the times of runaway emotions follow those level-headed headings/bearings.

I wrote down a quote from someone on here this week: "That which one focuses on becomes larger". Right now my focus is on the kids, trying to breathe and observe emotions when they are running haywire, scheduling time with friends, making phone calls to trusted allies in this mess, and trying to stay busy at work.

Ok is a fine response.

This is a matter of son. Conversations regarding kids are in a different category than the non-questions and those non-important texts, for kids are always important

Thanks for confirming. That's what felt right. I'll do that from now on.

I notice W is kind of vague with her pick up and return times. You might want to firm that up a bit, and set the stage for future arrangements/scheduling with her. Something like: OK W, that will be fine. I am going out Sunday, what time will you be bringing S1 back? or I'm going out Sunday at 1:00 and will be back at 5:00.

When she called a couple hours after that, I was sure to ask about specific times. She suggested 8:30-9:00 for pickup and I agreed.

I'd recommend you speak with a lawyer too. This is just for information, you need not take any action. You are just getting a legal viewpoint and advice on custody, support, and such. Also get an opinion on if W leaving the martial home affects things. I'm pretty sure the law would side with a parent living at home, rather than one sleeping on a friend's couch. Especially if there is a history of such. Another reason to talk with a L, as they know and can notarize said history.

I should. I will say, I'm hesitant because I went through D#1 completely without talking to a lawyer. Probably not the smartest, but we were pretty even as far as income, contributions to everything, and we entered the marriage with shared assets. A friend's wife was a paralegal for a law firm that specialized in divorce. He suggested her as an ally.