I’m back :(

[Card29]

Thanks for that book recommendation, I’ll out it on my reading list. And also thank you for the advice with boundaries. So far I have only said “I want to deal with this within the family right now”. This morning she had taken my trash cans around front for garbage day. When I went home on lunch, she had returned them (emptied) and even bleached one that had been smelly. I texted “I dont want a lot of help right now. I don’t want you to take the trash cans out for me.” She just said ok and I left it. I’m saving the bigger boundaries talk for another day after some counseling.


I had an in person convo with W this afternoon. She picked up S1 and got him to bed as I had an after work thing. We agreed on this a couple days ago. I didnt ask anything, just let her talk. Originally I had asked to talk so we could gameplan the counseling session. But I since realized that was anti-DB.

She said “so what do you want to talk about”

Me: “We can talk about whatever you feel like talking about.” She hemmed and hawed for a moment, so I said, “Or we can just tell him what’s going on and let him lead us”. She quickly agreed.

The rest of the convo was her giving a rundown after her afternoon with S1. I was trying not to be pushy or pursuing, and I think I came off a little bland. I felt awkward. Just need to learn the ropes and strategies.

Later, she texted:

W: Have you said anything to your mom?
W: sorry I guess that’s not my business
(I waited a while deciding what to say)
Me: Nothing out of the ordinary
Me: Thanks for cleaning out the fridge. That was next on my list.
(Is that anti-DB? It felt like I was just acknowledging something nice she did)
W: Least I could do for all your help with S1
W: I’m going to talk to my family tomorrow, I think
Me: Ok. I’m sure that is stressful to think about and anticipate

How did I do? Should I have left that last sentence out? It’s been obvious she’s stressed to tell them, but maybe this went from validating to pursuing and assuming her emotions?