Now, I know what you're thinking guys, 'T, you're almost rid of a self centered alcoholic who runs up tons of debt, has no sex drive, doesn't cook, and is rarely involved in sons activities. AND, you're getting away with 50/50 custody, no child support, and no alimony. Why aren't you dancing naked through the streets?' Maybe I am the crazy one
What do you mean, “maybe”?
🤣🤣🤣
LOL.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
Welp, just got the documents served to me today! The good news is, the judge signed the 50/50 custody agreement. The bad news is, it definitely feels more 'real' now.
i did see in the petition something about it's my right to request the court to mandate marital counseling sessions or something, but there's no way I'm doing that.
All I know is when this is finished, I will NEVER even think about getting married again.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
Welp, just got the documents served to me today! The good news is, the judge signed the 50/50 custody agreement. The bad news is, it definitely feels more 'real' now.
i did see in the petition something about it's my right to request the court to mandate marital counseling sessions or something, but there's no way I'm doing that.
All I know is when this is finished, I will NEVER even think about getting married again.
This will likely change. 84% of people who divorce marry again within 5 years. Remember feelings are fleeting.
I'm right in the thick of this, and I won't rule out getting married again.
Not that I would be in any hurry to do so.
One thing I do know is that I would want to be living the kind of relationship I desire before anything becomes official. Not going to use another M for incubation and testing.
And if any future partner sees no reason to add a piece of paper to that, that is also fine by me.
Me 59 W 47 T 26 M 23 S18, S14 BD May 2023 D filed June 2023 OM1 confirmed: December 2023 OM2 confirmed: October 2023
As hard as this is, and as much as I hate losing my family, I have to consider myself extremely lucky. As a man, I'm getting 50/50 custody, no child support, no spousal support, and hopefully a little more than equal share of assets. I am in the extreme minority, as the overwhelming majority of men have their lives destroyed from a D. There is no way in hell I'm ever risking that again.
I've also come to realize that, as much as I greatly preferred being married over being single, there's no real upside to doing it again. I'm too old to have/want any more kids, so companionship, partnership, etc can all be achieved without government getting involved.
Please understand, I absolutely support and encourage everyone here to do whatever it takes to save their marriage. Especially when children are involved. But I would advise men to think long and hard about what they're committing too when tying the knot, and realize what they stand to lose when things almost inevitably go south
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
That sounds good for you Terapin. Sounds like you have done well and certainly a smart move to protect your assets in future. Who knows what the future may hold. I too find that this has left a sour taste and am more inclined to say the same thing but honestly who knows what the future holds for anyone. I am like you though in saying that the assets we gain as we part our ways should be protected for our kids. I have seen so many second marriages go south with assets getting divided again amongst new spouses. I believed in the sanctity of my marriage even if my H chose not to and chose to walk away. I don’t think I could go through this a second time
M:41 H:48 T:20. M:16.5 BD: 15/12/22 -moved out 17/3/2023
The one aspect of remarrying that would concern me somewhat is the financial aspect. The situation I'm looking at isn't untenable: the way things are shaping up suggests no spousal support, reduced child support for my older son since he will be away at college (and I've only got three more years that I'm legally obligated to pay support for him), joint custody, etc.
The one factor to watch is going to be rent every month. I can't purchase any kind of decent property around here with my house buyout, and I'm not doing another mortgage. Paid one off and that's enough. Besides, when you own a house and something breaks or falls apart, you suddenly need to pull four or five figures out of you know where.
I should be okay as long as I don't have a financial crisis. A second divorce might create that.
Me 59 W 47 T 26 M 23 S18, S14 BD May 2023 D filed June 2023 OM1 confirmed: December 2023 OM2 confirmed: October 2023
In my adult life I've been single for around 15 years, and married for 15 years. Despite having a lot of fun being single, I greatly preferred being married. It obviously sucked at times, but it was probably the best 15 years of my life (getting a career, having a kid, buying a home, etc).
But, since I"m too old to have/want anymore kids, I can't think of even one logical reason to ever marry again. The risk is not worth the reward. Betting 50% of everything you have on someone never cheating on you, getting 'bored', becoming 'unhappy', etc is not a wise choice.
Yes, I'm bitter. lol. I told W last night that I got the D petition, and I'll be calling a realtor today. She started saying 'we should wait till we have everything that needs done around the house finished', and I said 'that's almost an impossibility, so I"m moving forward now'.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
My adult life has been mostly married. And it was a great run! I wasn’t seeking M when I met W but over time I wanted to commit my life to forming a life together. Now it’s apart though we are still M. I’m functionally single and that’s ok.
I don’t know about ever getting M again generally and I also don’t know about getting back together with W specifically.
