Learning the ropes 2

[Sunflyer]

It’s amazing how once you learn to detach a bit you can really see the relationship in a better light and find all the things we kind of “put up with” that really affected who we were as a person too. They really can drag us down without us realising. I too was like you and felt I would just put up with the behaviour which now in hindsight I didn’t like and deserved a lot better from a partner.

So proud of you for realising H needs so much work in order to be worthy of your love again

Another spot on post from Pattnee.

I don't have some of the problems the two of you have had, specifically the alcohol related issues. (Must be awful; I can't imagine being with someone who's gone down that road), but...

I am approaching the indifferent stage right now. Not giving up hope but at the same time, seeing more clearly how W also brought us to where we are. Essentially having two jobs, having fewer dinners at the table in the evenings, prioritizing other things over me and our life. Even our rare vacations alone were about doing as much as we could plan without taking private time just for US.

I let it continue because I didn't want to appear that I wasn't supportive of her ambitions.

I can theoretically stay at work later than I do, but I deliberately have tried to schedule things so that I am home at a decent hour, and once I am home, my work usually doesn't follow me.

I need a partner who's the same.