Was cleaning out a closet yesterday in preparation for my upcoming move. Stumbled across a card from W given to me on our 5th anniversary. This would have been just 15 months before BD.
- “I’m so happy to have you in my life…” - “I want to spend all of my life with you.” - “You are my best friend and I love you so so much.” - “I wish us all the happiness in the world as we walk towards the future - always together.”
I know that her current view of our shared history is a strange reimagined fiction that does not comport with reality. But there is something particularly jarring about reading her own words from a not so distant past. The pain of the loss continues to diminish each week but the mystery of what actually transpired to provoke her sudden flight remains. I suspect it always will. I’m trying to accept that.
In other news, I’m moving cross country in 5 weeks. Slowly packing things up and doing all the logistical things that the process entails. It’s somewhat bittersweet but I am excited to open a new chapter.
