A little less lost? Pt 3

[Pattnee5]

Sun- thanks I certainly know this isn’t me or my fault. I am long past blaming myself

DnJ- I know it’s a hard one isn’t it. It’s annoying the heck out of me. My granny bought over her favourite muscat the other night and had a glass and left the bottle here “ for next time” as she said. H has given it a good home which I find disrespectful. I am very much a social drinker only and home, with friends or family. Very cautious how I show my kids to treat alcohol as adults. H has turned into a “ drink if you’re stressed, if you’re cooking, if you’re gaming, or just for any Willy nilly excuse” . I might try and gently or as neutral as possibly tell him again about not drinking in the house and taking it to his place to drink. It’s not even about the fact I turn into his verbal punching back ( last night I didn’t thank goodness I kept my head down and stayed away) but out of respect for d14. She’s trying to set her own boundaries and has said she hates dad drinking and gaming. I need to speak up.

I’ll keep you posted how I go and how it goes down. Obviously if and when we sell the house and go our seperate ways he won’t be coming and going out of my new place. It will be my space and he won’t be welcome inside unless I am there. However for now it’s hard because it’s our house he’s still paying for it too and entitled to use it. Right now he has the best of every world. Come and act like a 17 year old drink game, go back and sleep where he’s living. I’m glad he is still fine during the day but it’s a slippery slope alcohol and he’s on one heck of a slide


Rock- Thankyou. Yep very difficult considering a week ago I did say I didn’t want him drinking around the house and he agreed. I do know he gets ashamed of his drinking ( the next day). Like very deeply ashamed of how it’s gotten a hold of him. But he is a grown man and can make decisions. I keep telling him I am here to support him when he needs support. Nobody else is around him. He’s never told his family the true extent of his drinking and they live interstate so they never know. Again the shame creeping in.

Anyhow I will keep you updated how I go.
Thanks for the encouragement of the DB. I did have to pull myself away to have a bath and calm myself when I saw him with a beer. Internally I was fuming. Had a bath, told myself multiple times it’s not my fault, recomposed myself and handled it pretty darn good I think