How can I constructively tell him AGAIN I don’t want him drinking around us and gaming. The fact it’s annoying D14 now means I need to say it.
The fact that it is annoying D14 means you need to speak with daughter. She nor you can control Dad/H. He is a grown man and can drink, smoke, swear, etc in front of whomever and wherever he wants to. As horrible as that may be. What you can do, is control you and your action/reactions.
You’ve told him. And you cannot dictate his compliance. If he won’t do it willingly, you are pretty much between a rock and a hard place. However, what are you going to do? What actions/boundary enforcements are going to take?
You could take the stance that: I’ve decided there is no longer going to be alcohol in my house. Any alcohol that comes into my house will be poured down the drain.
Obviously this stance would need to include your alcohol too Patt, so it is an inconvenience. Not sure that is a stand you are wanting to take.
Anyhow, just tossing around an idea. Maybe it will spark some discussion and further suggestions.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
