those could have been my own words. They absolutely do have a responsibility to communicate their feelings! In fact, H and I did have a talk about exactly that not very long ago.
He's never been a good communicator, he's a stuffer, and when I asked what's wrong I got the same, work stress, etc. He never did ask me questions but had the tendency to assume things. The lack of intimacy this past year was related to me transitioning. My hormone levels have dropped due to perimenopause and I admit that sex just was not on my mind much, but it evidently was on his. I do realize I should have addressed that. We just never had a conversation about it. I think that's why he was assuming I was cheating on him. He even got into watching the "Cheaters" tv show. I thought it was just funny at the time. Little did I know he was starting to make up stories in his mind about me and that (very much younger than me) coworker...
Last Sunday we got into another argument. Sigh... I did go against everyone's and my own advice again. His cheating accusations have hurt me so deeply and he just keeps sticking with it, it is the (almost) one and only thing he uses against me, his justification for turning away from me. He makes me cry every time. I take the bait every time!
So we were going back and forth until I said well, if you don't love me anymore why don't you get that divorce then?! I had made clear to him that I would not resist at all if that was truly what he wanted. He looked at me and said I do love you! And then when I backed away from him he pulled me into his arms and we hugged for about 5 minutes or so. I kept crying while he did not say a word, he just held me. It felt so good, I miss him so much every day.
That was the first physical contact in a long time. It was almost like the alien had stepped aside for a brief moment there. Of course it did not last but it did give me hope.
I also had the opportunity to say some things to him that needed to be said. He had voiced his feeling of not being appreciated and that he thought he had been a pretty good provider, to which I responded that he had been an awesome husband and father and I have always been proud of him for taking such good care of our family. He thanked me and I could see the wheels turning inside his head. He got quiet for a bit.
I know deep conversations right now are not a good idea but overall I do think this one was good for the most part.
