A new issue for me

[tadpole1025]

Hi Gerda! Thanks for the response. Like you, I seem to come back here if I need a hug.

I've looked into a few churches recently. I haven't decided on one, but will give it some more thought.

He is right about building relationship with your sons, they must be upset about something that happened or feel unable to connect for some reason, but most of us want to have a connection with our parents.

I do have a relationship with 3/4 of them. We just don't get to see each other as often as I'd like. They will message me once a week or so to check in, I'd just like to get together more often than we do.

I also think that if you were this totally other person before, and I mean REALLY other, famous, DJ, really into music and seeing music, etc., there is something wrong in your heart. It's grief! Do you not love music anymore?

I do love music, but I'm a rocker at heart. I'm a big KISS fan and love a lot of the music from the 80's. I haven't listened to country music since my divorce and the end of my radio career. Country music was so depressing and I couldn't listen to it with everything going on. I wouldn't listen to any radio/music for the longest time.

And about the diabetes and other health issues -- did you know that these are DEFINITELY impacting your mood and even your perspective on life?

I believe this. There are some days that I don't even want to get out of bed, but have to because I have to go to work. I've wondered lately if I am slowly becoming depressed again. I will look for the book that you suggested. As for eating right and exercising, I don't do it as much as I should.

And I also wanted to know this -- if you had no ties to the place you live, and you could live anywhere, where would it be? Would you be up for tiny house living? Would you travel if your kitties could come along (e.g., RV).

Hmmm...this is easy. I have an amazing love affair with the Pacific Ocean. I don't know how to explain it, I've just always been drawn to it. When I was growing up, I lived in Monterey, California. (That's actually where I met XW.) I could see the sea from my bedroom window. As a kid, I read books by Jacques Cousteau. I've always considered him to be one of my heroes...the way he would talk about the sea and the creatures in it. So...to answer the question, if I could live anywhere, it would be near the sea in the Pacific Northwest.

Tiny house living? Absolutely. I think you are talking about the tiny houses I've seen on tv? Yeah, I could do that.

As for traveling in an RV with my kitty cats...no I couldn't do that even if I had plenty of money. Again, I have a terrible fear of being stranded. I never had that fear until I got divorced. I know it may seem foolish, but it is what it is.

I will read the Psalms that you suggested.

Thank you for the response.

Tad