A new issue for me

[Rita]

Tadpole!!! I am in a rush but just saw your post. I'm like you, I plan never to post or even visit but sometimes I need a hug from those who understand, DnJ and Job especially! And always wonder about those I used to know here. I need to update my own thread but never have time to really sit down and do it.

I just wanted to say something briefly and will add more later --

Yes, there is something wrong. Something very wrong! YOU NEED COMMUNITY! I was thinking as I read your first post, this man needs a church community! So I was very happy when I saw you yourself bring up the bible in your second post. While we need to be happy by ourselves, as DnJ is and says, we need community. Which DnJ has! He just road tripped with his mama and his kids are around all the time. He is right about building relationship with your sons, they must be upset about something that happened or feel unable to connect for some reason, but most of us want to have a connection with our parents. We are not built to be alone and only in America would anyone think it's normal.

I also think that if you were this totally other person before, and I mean REALLY other, famous, DJ, really into music and seeing music, etc., there is something wrong in your heart. It's grief! Do you not love music anymore? Could you get involved with the country music scene again in some way? Could you combine it with something you could do to serve others, so you will get outside yourself and not think so much about your own "shortcomings"? For example, could you offer to do a country music hour at a nearby nursing home?

And about the diabetes and other health issues -- did you know that these are DEFINITELY impacting your mood and even your perspective on life? Diabetes can even worsen as a response to stress! Read the book, The Body Keeps the Score. I wonder if your health conditions are much increased by the trauma you experienced and perhaps have not worked through. Are you exercising and trying to eat more vegetables as a start? Exercising can be going for 10 minutes walk every other day for a week, then 15 minutes every other day for a week, then 20, etc. Can you join a local walking group? Or offer to take your elderly neighbor's dog for a walk a few times a week?

And I also wanted to know this -- if you had no ties to the place you live, and you could live anywhere, where would it be? Would you be up for tiny house living? Would you travel if your kitties could come along (e.g., RV).

I will write more later, Tadpole. I always found your posts to be very insightful and wise but also to sense so much unfinished sadness in you.

Hey, for now, read Psalm 34 and Psalm 25. Read them out loud, even to your kitties. Imagine what God would think if he could hear you. (Which he can.)

(((((TADPOLE)))))))))