Newbie Here

[Pattnee5]

So a day or two of acting normal is something that is common and W saying she want things to work out in the middle of a MLC is pretty common? I know she isn't on the other side of yet and there has been a lot of damage caused by all of this. But I didn't know it was normal for a MLC to revert back to normal for a few days.

This is very typical, or at least in my H case. Sometimes it would be days sometimes a few weeks. It’s so hard to know when they snap between the two. There’s always triggers which we don’t know about. Work, a fleeting thought, a reminder, a comment or action.
I think it takes alot of work for them to pass through their crisis. A lot of therapy a lot of bridge building. Have you read AmyC’s story buried in these forums? As a female she gives her account of her MLC and wow is that scary ( I hope I avoid that myself). I can’t find a male equivalent account but there’s enough other people’s experiences in here that has taught me alot.

You may keep hearing people say to let go of the rope. The sooner you do that it will feel like a weight will lift. I would hang on every action and word of H and have these seesaw moments where I would get sucked in thinking we are making progress only to then get dragged down. After months I was exhausted, mentally and physically. I was sick of crying I would struggle to eat, I felt like I was not the best version for my kids or me. Gosh I was worried I would have a crisis.I don’t know whether it was one specific moment for me but more a few different things but I woke up and dropped the rope. Kind provided me some stern words that helped a lot too 😂 and his roller coaster/Disneyland analogy helped. I was done being dragged down by H moods and issues. It’s been a long 8 months since BD and 4 months since he moved out and I was exhausted. I started to see things more clearly, started to see how much work H actually needs to do on himself and by himself.
I’ve stopped worrying or caring about his moods and his false hope. I now focus on me and only me and the kids.
It’s the hardest thing to do but start to drop the rope. It will save you a lot of sanity and heartache and wasted energy