MLC monster has caught up with me again..

[Pattnee5]

Hi Love,
Thought I would come across here and read your story a bit better too.It’s so common what you are saying. I too wished I had seen the warning signs, thinking back now before BD I too can see H was pulling away, not his usual self. But I always would ask him if he was ok and he would always say yes and it was work.Little did I know about the storm brewing but honestly we can’t beat ourselves up about the “should haves” they too had a responsibility to communicate their feelings. Honestly they dug their own hole, and are sinking further while we try desperately to pull them out. The resist. I also now wish I had shown my appreciation of my H more too( yep another of his complaints post BD-honestly they follow the script so well). Once I was aware of it I have been doing it a lot more and say it a lot more but it just falls on deafs ears now. They can’t look within to see the times they never showed us the same level of appreciation they are demanding but honestly what can we do.
I am convinced an alien has invaded my H body. They have created this idealised version of how they want their wives to be and act and they reflect back on the past -sometimes so very deep in the past- and remember all the negative times of the relationship. In order to destroy it. My H used to always complain about his mother having to do everything for his father who was always just angry and stubborn and passive aggressive. She was the domestic housewife ( they are in their 80s ) and H hated the way she did everything(but never worked)
Enter the Alien into H body and he now wishes he had a version of his mother as a wife who did everything and did all the domestic duties and didn’t spend any money and live a bland basic life. H basically has become his father.
This is how deep I think some of these issues go. This has nothing to do with us at all. The root of their problems start well before we were ever in the picture. We are just the perfect punching bag and their escape.

It really is sad. It’s sad to see the one you love flip a switch and become someone you don’t recognise. I have been so heartbroken over this. It really is like a death, grieving a death of the man you once loved who isn’t currently here in this current H body.

Keep loving, keep strong and keep your head up. Don’t let him drag you down into his garbage. Everyone on here keeps hammering on about GAL and I think it’s so important. Moreso even if our H don’t return or take years to return, we wouldn’t have wasted a single second being stuck in their mess.