Indifference is kind of a passing moment. In time, after the unwinding, one can reestablish indifference almost on command. Like a “shields up” (if you’re a sci-fi fan you’ll get that ). The main thing right now is that indifference is new, and it takes time to get used to. Let the clarity settle, let the unknown settle.
You’ve got the noise from H nicely muted. His words and behaviours no longer drag you around, and they no longer cut or hurt. In the silence from that noise, and if you can mute family’s wants, you can then figure out what Pattnee truly wants and is willing to stand/live for. Those deeply held convictions.
It’s pretty easy to find something bigger than ourselves. Something we love or care about so much, that we’d die for it. It’s quite another to find that, which you would live for.
It turns out to be perspective. Dying for something, happens. We emotionally stop living, for a bit here and there. Folks let their hearts harden. One can shrink away from life.
Take that same hill one is willing to die upon, and instead stand for it. Live for it. Keep your heart soft and squishy. Embrace life.
Strengthen that which serves. Craft that which you aspire to. And discard or alter that which does not, or no longer, serves.
We all have prejudices, defaults, beliefs, convictions, etc., from a lifetime of experiences and inputs from society, movies, family, work, and the list goes on and on and on. Seek your core values. Know them. And decide if anything requires tweaking. Even if it’s only reducing the clutter and cataloging yourself.
Know thy self. Stand for me.
Very powerful convictions right there. Foundations as unshakeable as a lighthouse’s.
Doing nothing is doing something. Of course, the nothing isn’t sitting around pining over things. It’s just regarding furthering H’s agenda and/or riding around on his rollercoaster. That relationship/romantic limbo. Embrace it. It’s ok.
That’s the extent of limbo’s reach, nothing else. Live and love life. Do things. Travel. Work. Paint your house. Plant a garden. Take a class. Learn a new skill. Walk in the park. Watch the sunset. A sunrise. See Saturn through a telescope. You know, do stuff, just like you are and have been for a while now.
By the way, I highly recommend seeing Saturn through a telescope. It’s really amazing to see, with your own eye, what that pinprick of light actually is. Such beauty, and entire world, in a mere speck of light.
Jupiter is pretty amazing too. The giant red spot is very recognizable. And its four main moons ping and shine like diamonds. Just incredible.
Anyhow, I am here supporting you. Encouraging you. So, no matter the outcome, you’ve done all you could do.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
). The main thing right now is that indifference is new, and it takes time to get used to. Let the clarity settle, let the unknown settle.
