Hi DnJ, that's true I want her back despite the fact what she did to me but she does not love me nor respect me. Does not value me.. I am just provider for her at the moment. She is not attracted to me anymore. So first thing that must happen is that the affair is over and I have no guaranty that she jumps into another affair once this one ends.. I like very much the approach you propose and I have been doing/living it from January. But the more I read the texts in her cell phone the more I know about her thinking/next steps so its kind of strategic advantage for me. But yeah I told her that I want to talk with this OM who is just a junkie, morbid jealous scum (confirmed by different ppl who know him), and now she also knows/already experienced that..as a result there was an ultimatum for her to decide what to to do with the affair (she proposed one week), and I also told her that if she goes back and affair will still continue or there will be no effort being put into our M, then I divorce her. She clearly did not expect me saying that. Never ever so maby reality hit her already. I do not know what will be the result but I cannot take my words back. Regarding OM I would never attack him physically since this could cause a problems in future (custody, I am also gun owner), so I can control myself no worries. I think my W has some sort of personality defect because on one side she is madly in love with OM, promising him future together and eternal love and on the other end she flirts with her old friend...Once she enjoyed how cheating tastes, I am affraid that marriage will not give her satisfaction anymore...but it is too early to judge..
