I had plans to go out tonight without my kids and they fell through. We're rescheduled for next weekend. W is taking the kids out for the day to a friends pool so I'll be home alone. I'm going to get some work done and head to our community pool. This isn't a 180 as it something I would normally do but better than sitting around the house staring at the walls. Plus there are some neighborhood friends who will be there so it will be good.
W didn't say a single word to me yesterday and I didn't say one word to her. We live in the same house so it can be a bit uncomfortable. There have been many times in our M where we had done this and I had vowed recently to stop doing it. However, she is as cold as ice towards me and I feel like I'd be breaking the DB rules if I tried speaking to her.
I've been thinking about the possibility of OM more and more. Everyone on here in my thread and in others seem to be convinced that there is always an OM. And while I suspect the EA, I don't have any really proof of a PA. We both have location tracking on our phones so I know where she is at all times. Anything is possible I guess. But here's the thing, I want my M to work but if I knew she was having a PA then I would done and not put myself through this torture of dealing with a W in a MLC/WAW. I know I would be totally devastated if it were true but some part of me would find relief because it would be closure. The thought of dealing with this for another 3 years or more only to have it crumble down, I don't know that I have it in me. GAL for me would include female companionship. I'm not getting that right now and I don't mean physically. The "hey! how was your day?" or if something good or exciting happens and being able to share. Those are the things I'm really missing right now. Neither has filed for D yet but this morning I was looking at houses and planning my future if a D were to occur.
