If there’s complicated arrangements like you keep the house and buy him out over time, then there can be arguments 10 years later when you sell if the value has gone up.
A sale, asset division and clean slate mean there’s no coming back for more in dribs and drabs. Also, if you decide to keep the house/he rents and then he goes and gambles or drinks his money away, you don’t get left out to dry.
A hefty lump sum each also generally takes spousal maintenance out of the equation so there’s no ongoing connection financially except for child support.
I’m glad you’ve decided to get busy living your new life. Lots of people fear that, because they feel like they’re snuffing any last chance. But you’re not! The reality is that if you divorce, divide assets, sign final finance and children’s orders and then five years from now he realises he was an absolute fool - there’s nothing stopping a long term reconciliation if he owns his mistakes and demonstrates total commitment.
There’s just no point stalling/delaying/leaving things open on that small chance. In fact, my personal opinion is that sudden cutting of the cord is much more likely to end in eventual reconciliation than a slow burn, drawn out divorce.
Chances are very unlikely he wakes up, and if he does, you’ll probably have rebuilt your self worth by then and you’ll be disgusted at the thought!
I think it’s a fundamental DB principle. You have to keep living your life and moving forward even though it’s hard to imagine life without them. The earth doesn’t stop spinning. Your biological clock doesn’t pause while you wait 5-10 years. Time never stops, and it’s better to keep living your life.
