Kind - thank you for that. A bit of tough love and a kick in the pants. I guess I deserved it and needed it.
All you deserve is happiness and respect.
Quote
Yes - 100 percent a PA is a deal breaker. I can positively say that. I couldn't go back to her after that.
Good. That’s a strong man right there.
Quote
I'm hanging on by a thread as it is.
Your words become your narrative. Reframe this. “I’m struggling at the moment, but I know it’s only temporary.”
Quote
I suspect the EA and may be looking into things too much regarding the PA. I hope it hasn't happened but if I find out, then its game over. I asked her and of course she denied it but some parts of me think she'd tell me.
Wrong. If I was her, I absolutely wouldn’t tell you. That way, I could keep my safety net marriage intact while experimenting on the side. You’re giving her way too much credit in the honesty and integrity department.
Quote
She already told me several vicious things already so I almost think she'd relish in the thought of telling me. Thats what the alien is like.
IMHO you’re projecting and over thinking things too much.
Quote
I'm making plans to do something Saturday night without the kids.
Good.
Quote
To answer a few questions - I was in counseling for 2 months when this started and it didn't help me at all so I dropped out. I think I'm going to sign up for the DB coaching on here. It’s cheaper and would probably be more effective.
Excellent. It’s very common not to gel with all psychologists. Lots of forum members have reported having to try two or even three to find the right one. It’s worth trying this again.
Quote
I lost a lot of weight because when I stress, I don't eat. I lift weights 4-5 times a week and have for years. I love it and even through all of this, I still do it. It more effective then a counseling session for me. I honestly look as good as I ever have with my shirt off. A little loose skin on my waist for abs are showing. I don't have the muscle mass I had 10 years ago but I'm more defined.
This is good. Make sure you stick at it! If I were you, knowing food intake hasn’t been ideal due to stress, I’d probably go get a quick check at the local doctor including bloods. Maybe your iron/vitamin d/vitamin b etc is a bit low atm.
Sleeping - how’s that going? It was one of the hardest things for me. I stayed awake sometimes all night and would stress and ruminate. Are you getting 6-7 hours at regular times?
