The pain is still so real though, I think what hurts the most is how for quite a while obviously he held in all his issues and frustrations and then they just boil over to BD and he refuses to even want to attempt to fix things. I think the lack of even wanting to try is the hardest part.( and very out of character).
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A solid marriage is built on openness and communication and he did neither of those things doe a good part of a year while he was brewing and planning BD.
He’s so far down this rabbit hole he could never lower his pride and sword and admit defeat for fear of what everyone will say. It’s a sad mental state to me in to be honest. Everyone keeps telling me one day he will wake up and realise je has made a huge mistake. I too myself feel it. I think that’s why I am so resistant to giving up so easily. Although I know too that the actual effort it’s Going to take from both of us is going to be enormous and long and nothing will be rosy for a long time,
Not convinced it's MLC in my W's case, but I certainly relate to you here! Could change all your "he" in these statements to "she" and there's my W in a nutshell.
Could I work for years to reconstruct my marriage if I had to? I know I could. I am the poster boy for only wanting things that take forever to accomplish. But I also know life is short and all things being equal, my time on on this rock will be over in less than the blink of an eye. And you're right about pride being a big thing. None of us likes to admit we're wrong, but our spouses must be relationship gurus because there's no way they could ever be mistaken about us or our marriages.
Me 59 W 47 T 26 M 23 S18, S14 BD May 2023 D filed June 2023 OM1 confirmed: December 2023 OM2 confirmed: October 2023
