Hi DnJ, I did not mean it literally that it is your approach. But I got the point. The more I think of this situation the more I am convinced that I will not file for D. From what I have seen in her cell phone, she is madly in love. She said he is man/love of her life and she wants to spend rest of life with him. It was very disturbing for me to read it. I do not know if she is saying that just due to limerence or if she really found her soulmate. But I see there is a patternt when I go back to the times we started dating she said, did the same things with me. And now she is saying that she did not truly love me, that we were in rush with our wedding (after 3 years of dating, where we lived together 2 years prior wedding lol). That basically she used me to help her out of her problems at that time. But I recall something different. She was madly in love with me, she wanted to marry me and she wanted kids with me.. True is that I never love bombed her like OM now. And yes I should open up more but all my caring, and I love you etc.. was genuine.. So I am convinced she will file for D soon since she cannot wait to be with him, but still says it is not due to him but I know she does not want to look like a bad guy who ruined family due to OM. Yesterday I was under pressure and told her if she wants to be with him than she is free to go, she just need to pack her stuff and go out if she wants. You know I work from home since covid lockdowns, so she can work on shifts. I take care of kids every day. I told her that starting from September/October I am planning to go to the office and work from there so she must find another job - more time friendly due to kids. She meets up with him at work so I told her I will not support nor create conditions where she can freely cheat on me everyday. I was patient all those months, did not push on her nor controll her and the only result it had, that she got more deeply in love with him and it pushed her away of me/family. It is just question of time when she leaves/files for D since they plan future together. I do not know what should happen in order for her to get the sanity back.. But also I have seen that OM is extremly jealous and there is a trust issue from his side. My W is also very jealous.. Anyway the die is cast. I see no chance for me to attract her back if she is deeply in love with him..My W has anxious attachment stile and this OM is a manipulator..I know that I am better option but if there is a pattern - obviously is, she will be in love with him for years (like my case), as long as he will be providing her what she needs. I need to move on with my life. I am still not healed completely but I believe the worst is behind me and unknown ahead of me.
