This morning, R spewed his breakfast all over the table, floor and himself. I cleaned him up, made him more oatmeal, then MADE him take smaller spoonfuls. He didn't urp and kept it down. We sent him outside, while keeping all the bathrooms locked. Fed him lunch and I cut his hotdogs into smaller portions along with Gatorade. Sent him outside, gave him some of his favorite pecan sandies cookies and some clementines. He kept it down. Then he was sitting in the living room and seemed drowsy--I sent him to bed in his room with one of his favorite videos. He got right up and seemed fine if not pissed at me.
I called C to update him and he seemed okay with that. And told me he thinks I'm doing the right thing. I am extremely worried about R and extremely EXHAUSTED with everything I being expected to handle. Normally I could handle it, even by myself, but having C NOT HERE and not WANTING to be here just makes it worse.
I know C will one day realize coming home, working through our problems--with our marriage and our kids--is the right and honorable thing to do. I think he's confused and his California Zoom Friends are clouding what he KNOWS to be true for HIM and for ME. I saw/heard flashes of the C I've know and loved for 45 years Friday and yesterday and even today--he's in there--but something/someone is telling him what to do. Of that I am certain.
