Newbie Here

[Sunflyer]

Reading your suggestion of reclaiming the master bedroom gave me some butterflies. I would be nervous to do it.

Don't be. I know it might seem tough. I have never left the master bedroom, and I will not until the day I am out of this house. My wife has never challenged me on it. You might be surprised by what happens.

Ironically, she has been on the couch, or in a recliner, for weeks now, but that is because of her surgery. She can't lie flat yet so props herself up when she sleeps.

I should say, which I don't think that I have, that I am at fault for plenty of things. I caused problems with my actions and not fulfilling all of her basic needs. She keeps bringing up the fact that it took this to open my eyes so she harbors resentment. Any good deed or anything I do in a positive light looks fake to her and insincere which I totally get.

Are you married to my wife (lol)? This is the absolutely classic, standard script that these situations follow. It happens over and over again. You're right about the "fakeness." Nothing you say to try to appease her will be accepted as genuine, even if it is.

It is good that you recognize your fault in this. Pretty much everyone here contributed in some way to the downfall of our marriages. I fell into a pattern where I coasted too much. So did my wife, by the way, but I'm not sure she sees it. So admit your fault, BUT do not let her make you think that you are the reason for her unhappiness. She could find ways to end her unhappiness at any time and very possibly enjoy her marriage again. If she chooses not to, that is on her. Happiness comes from within, not without.