Thank you Joseph I believe you and respect the road you have walked and the man I understand you to be. I am trying really hard and not getting there. I know DnJ aka Yoda will say do or do not. So that’s where I need to focus - to discern my path and follow through on the steps to get there.
Believe me I am tempted to throw in the towel say f it get a gf go on a big vacay myself and forget about my responsibilities. I know that’s not right for me. But also staying stuck in a rut and getting rag dolled emotionally is not right for me. Being nice without strong boundaries and action is not good for me nor my family.
My goals right now: Be strong and healthy for me and for my family including kids, grandkid, my parents. That includes getting back to work well. I have been following all the steps, am on track, and I understand so much more now about how to do this and what I need to do to be well in my profession. I excelled in my career until I became unwell and couldn’t go on. That includes getting support for my kids as you have pointed out. That includes taking good care of my home which I have been doing.
Healthy boundaries with W and her family. That means space to me. And not making rash missteps and decisions based upon my feelings.
Community, friendships, being a healthy mature single man who happens to be separated from a M that is over. Not dating.
From this group, I wouldn’t really change a thing. I value the time and thought you all put into this space and to me. I would prefer you don’t pull punches. What I really need is honesty and compassion and I keep coming back for more of that.
