I'm actually in compete agreement with Terapin. You have to have to have to get her to respect you again. Her actions show she has literally zero respect for you as a person let alone her husband.
I actually agree you filing may not be the worst option, but you have to mean it, and have to be willing to go through with it. It can not be used as a threat.
Also don't hold your breath with the money thing. It almost never lasts, and honestly, you very well maybe able to use this moment to get a better deal financially.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
