A little less lost? Pt 3

[Pattnee5]

Thanks Kind. I have been terrible at patience in my life so if I am to get anything out of all of this it’s going to be patience😂
I love this Disneyland explanation(mainly because I love Disneyland ).

But yeah I think it’s definitely sunk in now that nothing I say or do is going to change and I am certainly not to blame. This ride def does suck ALOT. But my IC asked me today when was the last time I truly laughed so much I cried or was a really happy moment that didn’t involve kids. It really opened my eyes to the fact that I have been living with a reclusive sourpus who lost all purpose or life enjoyment and sucked me into his hole with him.
It was a good session. I feel alot more balanced and calmer today. Had a good day too. Kept busy.
I must admit I did cry once and then smashed the absolute stuffing out of my pillows to vent my anger. Family keep telling me they are convinced he’s having an online affair. He told me twice looked me in the eye and said there’s nobody else. They keep mentioning it so today it boiled over and I started questioning and got quite annoyed and frustrated
Then I realised it doesn’t matter anyway anymore he is free to do what he wants he has chosen this path . Still hurts a lot the stories you make up in your head, the jealousy and sadness .
Anyway that was my only downfall in today.

Got the anger out felt great though. I am definitely going to start thinking a lot more about Disneyland now. Thanks kind I think I am really trying to work on letting it all go.