Minding my own business looking after my side of the fence.
If I may, change fence to street. Our word choices can subconsciously build barriers, as in a fence/wall. A street still identified the separate paths of you and W, without a barrier, and can still clearly denote when one crosses over it (and gets back on their own track ).
Originally Posted by Rockon
W has gone out of country for a month. She hasn’t told me any details (and I didn’t ask). She did say that she hasn’t told eldest D (said that D would not understand W spending money on herself instead of going to visit D) or S (not on speaking terms with S) about the trip but she has told our 2 youngest.
I’m glad you have stepped back from the relationship between kids and Mom. This is a different time to keep doing so.
If you four are anything like my four they talk, well text mostly, among themselves quite a bit. Your two youngest will most certainly mention Mom being gone for a month on vacation. Stay out of this! Whatever, if any, resentment a kid or kids have regarding Mom’s spending/investing of time and/or money, you don’t need transferred on to you.
Originally Posted by Rockon
So a month break.
Yes. Use these four weeks well.
I’d not answer any texts or calls from W during this time (if she even does try to remain in contact). You control you. Let her go, for the entire month. Focus on you, the kids, the yard, baseball, dancing, bbqs, friends, etc.
Originally Posted by Rockon
A lot of texts and emails from W before she left. Not much at all required a response so none given. Most of it was directive of how she thought I should be more thrifty with spending money and such.
After her living away for a year I think she has lost the right to tell you, direct you, how thrifty you need to be. Ensure you pay your share of joint expenses, and the rest is your’s to do with as you choose. And yes, giving no response was perfect.
Originally Posted by Rockon
I am considering that I may be at a place of hiring a lawyer to protect myself, fairness and our family from the free radical type effects of W’s choices and behaviours.
You should definitely have some legal input and know your rights and such. You need not yet act upon any of that information, however you should know it.
Originally Posted by Rockon
Will continue to GAL, therapy, follow through on goals and discern my way forward. Answers will emerge.
Yep. As one continues things become calmer and their emotions more settled. The real big answers do present themselves when one is calm and at peace. And one usually doesn’t even know there even was a question.
Have a great day Rock.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
).
