A little less lost? Pt 3

[Pattnee5]

Hi Pattnee. Please understand my post comes from a place of kindness, even if it’s a bit blunt.

You need to stop analysing every little action/reaction/word/conversation/event/message. Just put your walls down and stop trying to micro-manage and micro-analyse everything. If I told you it’s very unlikely that anything you do or say (or don’t do or say) will make ANY difference to the outcome here, would you drop the rope? You can’t think your way out of this.

Point 5:
Have a think back over the above interaction from HIS point of view. If you were him, at the end of all that, do you think he would be MORE likely to be attracted to you or LESS likely? IMHO, all you’ve done is affirm to him that he needs to get away from this situation. You need to be mysterious, attractive, fun and upbeat… not controlling, worried, trying to appease or punish.

Imagine this… he comes in, sees you making burgers and asks if he can stay.

You say “Actually, these burgers are sh*t and I can’t be bothered making them.” Then you call out to S12 and say “let’s go out for burgers and milkshakes, see you at the car in 10 minutes.” You say nothing to STBXH, go upstairs, put some sexy clothes on with some perfume, come downstairs and say “oh, are you still here? You can keep folding sheets like my little laundry b****, or you can come out for burgers if you want, we’re leaving in 2 minutes.”

I’ll now ask the same question again. Do you think after flipping the script he would be MORE likely to be attracted to you or LESS likely?

Point 6:
MWD says doing 180s is key. What you’ve been doing (over-analysing, controlling, worrying, projecting) hasn’t worked has it? Maybe you need to try the complete opposite.

Thanks Kind. I needed this. I am over analysing everything I don’t know why but it’s exhausting mentally and physically.

I wish I had the quick thinking wit with the your “laundry b**ch “ comment haha yep that would have been gold. But in all seriousness I see exactly what you mean about attraction and flipping the script.

Thanks Kind