I've been a professional church musician most of my professional life. I've always prayed but often just perfunctory prayers. Since C left, I've prayed more sincerely and it's helped me and my frame of mind. Today I had a strange experience that I'd like to share. You can take it as you will but I choose to feel better and stronger. And I'm DBing the heck out it!
It was a strange day, with haze from the Canadian wild fires adding to the strangeness. The weather here is crazy--it rained last night BIG TIME, sun shower this afternoon and tomorrow night is supposed to be violent storms, hail etc.--and I wasn't able to do a few things I had to do planned outside. Plus, am worried about the leaks so covered the grande piano and put a bucket under the kitchen ceiling leak.
I decided to take a nap this afternoon because I had an awful headache--things with C really got to me today and self-care seemed like the best way to spend the afternoon. I got into bed and dragged out the afghan C's Grandma made for me for one of my bridal showers and closed my eyes. I couldn't relax and started to pray. I prayed for some little thing to remind C why he fell in love with me. I prayed for his heart to open again for me and our family. And I prayed that I could remain above it all, not text or phone or email--and prayed for strength to do it--and to not to tell him I love him. I finally dozed off while I was praying.
Thirty minutes later, the landline rang and it was C. I answered and it didn't seem like he heard me--and then he answered. He apologized because he butt called me, after getting off the phone with son G. I asked if he was still in the south suburbs or if he was in Hyde Park. He said he was in HP. We spoke about a few house business things and I asked if he attended opening night at Ravina. He said he didn't, he fell asleep. I shared something son B said this afternoon I was going to share on our date. He was grateful. All in all, it was about a five minute conversation but it was nice. I was the first to say good-bye and told him to *take care*--I usually tell him I love him--and he said *take care* back. And I felt it was an answer to my prayers, a beginning for his heart to open again. It's a start.
I was surprised to see C's number on the CallerID but then again, I wasn't. Prayer is powerful.
