Hope is not failure. Hope is an incredible wellspring of strength and fortitude. Hope is timeless.
Expectations is hope with a timeframe or deadline upon it. And nothing kills hope faster than a deadline. (Dead, it’s in the name - deadline.) Keep your hope. Do not let anyone take away your hope.
Do realize, hope can ensnare someone as well. One can get paralyzed in hope. Become stagnate and unmoving and un-living. So hope, while continuing to move forward.
D
Wow D you always know what to say and spin someone’s perspective. Here I was feeling guilty for having hope and feeling like I am failing in DB and you have given me another way to look at it. You are right I may have held on to some deadline for selfish reasons.
This still seems so unreal and like it’s not happening. I feel like I’ve fallen into an alternate universe. A friend just told me “just because something feels final and done at this particular moment, nothing ever is “ I think because I have been beating myself up for two days saying we are done for good it’s over there’s no chance now etc.
I have some friends coming over tomorrow to cheer me up, might take the kids to the museum or something. For my self care I am looking at trying maybe a kinesiology session. Never heard of it but a friend at work said she enjoyed it. Something out of left field and completely like me I have always been very black and white, however now any possible way that I can actually heal my broken heart I am willing to try anything. I’ve stopped alcohol I know it’s no help in this state and I don’t want it unless I am more balanced.
I still feel absolutely completely defeated. Like I have just given up completely now.
M:41 H:48 T:20. M:16.5 BD: 15/12/22 -moved out 17/3/2023
